Seven Brides for Seven Death Eaters
by Dracorum1
Summary: UPDATED!CHAPTERS CHANGED! What happens when seven lonely Death Eaters want to get married? Read and find out.
1. The Punishment

Sorry guys that I have not updated my story until now. I was just very unhappy with the way it was going. I've tweaked the first chapter and have completely changed the following ones. I didn't like it because it was focusing too much on characters that aren't even in the books, so I figured I'd change it around to we'd have more of Draco and people we know. So, hope you like it better. Review and let me know. Also, check out another story that I have been writing. It's called "Who Are You and What Have You Done With My Dad?" It focuses in on the Malfoy family and is a rather funny story. No child abuse or incest there. That story is also one of the reasons why it's taken me so long to write more on this story.  
  
Okay, so I am once again basing my story upon a show I was watching, well, actually it was movie, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and I just thought that it would make a funny, kind of weird, story. I was just really bored. Hope you enjoy and I hope that the document gets uploaded correctly; been having problems with it. If it doesn't, I apologize.  
  
Summery: This is post-Hogwarts. Probably about five years after Draco, Harry, Ron, and Hermione graduated. Tensions were building until one year ago war broke out. Draco became a Death Eater, what other choice for a life did he have, and the dream team work with the ministry and the Order of the Phoenix. Anyway, wackiness ensues as seven lonely Death Eaters decide they want to get married, however, the women are less than willing. At least at first. The big question is, will the good guys be able to save the girls before it's too late; but more importantly, will the girls want to be saved?  
  
Chapter One: The Punishment  
  
"Oh, my God!" was all that Draco could think after he apparated in front of a rather shabby looking farm house, two stories, but still rather small, with chipped paint, dirty windows, and shutters that looked like they were about to fall off. Off to the left of the house stood an equally run-down barn, its door wide open and a pig and a couple of chickens coming from out of it.  
  
"Why did Voldemort have to send me here to this puke hole?" Draco asked himself, but he already knew the answer.  
  
Draco had failed a mission, well actually two. He had first been assigned the job of capturing Hermione Granger as she was making life very difficult for the Death Eaters. Every time they tried to unleash a horrible curse upon a town, conjure up some monster to sick on the muggles and mudbloods, or attempt some other brilliant plan, Hermione always figured out a way to stop it, causing many of the Death Eaters to meet unfortunate ends at the hands of Voldemort.  
  
Draco was sent to capture, or kill her, whatever he felt like doing, but had been foiled by Harry Potter and Hermione's, now husband, Ron Weasley. "Damn them!"  
  
The second assignment that Draco had been given was to steal some newly discovered, and very valuable documents containing some of the most ancient and dark magic imaginable. Against his better judgment, Draco had been forced by Geoffery Blathe, a very ambitious Death Eater who barely outranked Draco, to take Vincent Crabbe along with him. Draco knew that he could do the job himself, and so did Blathe, but there was a lot of animosity between the two and so Draco was forced to take the clumsy Crabbe along.  
  
Draco had almost had his hands upon the documents when the alarm had sounded. The alarm charm that Crabbe had ensured him was terminated, was actually still intact and working. The building had been quickly swamped with aurors and Draco and Crabbe had barely been able to escape.  
  
For these two failed assignments Draco was to be punished. Usually a Death Eater who had failed would have been sentenced to death, however, being the son of Voldemort's most loyal follower did have its advantages. He was sent to this god-forsaken Hell-hole to take over as the commander, due to the fact that the last leader had mysteriously disappeared.  
  
So now, both he and Crabbe were standing outside of one of the most horrible and depressing places imaginable, a run-down old farm. When you're used to a place like Malfoy manor, having to stay in a building that had less than thirty-five rooms was a horrible thought. But, here he was, ordered to remain at this out-post until told otherwise, meaning he could be there for years, or at least until the war was over, which could take years. 


	2. Reunion

Chapter Two: Reunion  
  
"Where is everyone?" Draco said more to himself than to Crabbe. Normally when a man assumed command of a post his subordinates would be there to great him and to submit their loyalty to him. However, Draco was soon to discover that these were to be no ordinary Death Eaters.  
  
Draco let out a deep, disgusted sigh and walked over towards the house. Crabbe followed closely behind. Draco stopped in front of the door and opened it by using his wand. There was no way that he was going to touch it with his bare hands. Draco scanned the interior of the building as he entered the small stairwell. If it was possible, the inside of the house looked more deteriorated than the outside. At the back of the stairwell was a door that hung on one hinge which led to what appeared to be the kitchen. There were also two doorways on the right and left of the stairwell. Draco decided to try the door on the left. It was slightly ajar, so he merely pushed it in with his foot. The door hit something hard behind it with a rather lound BANG and before he knew what was happening, Draco was met with five wands pointed in his direction. He instinctively raised his own wand but knew immediately that he had no chance, one against five were not good odds. Crabbe didn't count as far as he was concerned.  
  
"Malfoy?! Draco Malfoy?!" came a surprised and very familiar voice.  
  
Draco tore his eyes away from the wands and saw none other than, "Marcus Flint!"  
  
"Fancy seeing you here." Flint said as he lowered his wand and motioned the others to do the same.  
  
"Well, I could say the same about you." Draco lowered his own wand at looked at the other Death Eaters. "Goyle, you're here too?! Well, actually, that doesn't really surprise me." He then saw another familiar face, "You got exiled here too, aye, Zabini?"  
  
Blaise nodded his head. "Good to see ya again, Malfoy, Crabbe."  
  
"These two guys over here," said Flint, "are Frank Pearney and Victor Borgase. Frank went to Beauxbaton and Victor went to Durmstrang." *Not to be confused with Victor Krum*  
  
"Are you our new commander?" Victor asked.  
  
"Yes." Draco answered in a defeated sigh. "For now anyways."  
  
"What did you do?" Frank asked.  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"What did you do to wind up here at Hades' Toilet?"  
  
"Hades' Toilet? I thought we were at the Brenton Post?" said a very confused Crabbe.  
  
Draco looked at Crabbe like he was the biggest idiot in the world. "It's a joke, Crabbe."  
  
"Oh." And then Crabbe began to laugh and Draco just shook his head in disgust.  
  
"It's what we affectionately call this hell hole." Said Flint. "So, what did you do to get exiled here."  
  
"Two botched missions. One thanks to a group of goodie goodies and the other because of the village idiot over here." Draco pointed a thumb at Crabbe who was beside him.  
  
"Well, welcome anyways." Flint said. "Now, would you care for the grand tour?" Draco cracked a small smile and followed Flint out the door.  
  
After Flint had finished giving the tour of the downstairs he led Crabbe and Malfoy up the stairs to where they would be staying. Draco let out a groan as he saw it. It was one large room with six beds lined against the walls, three on each side. "Could this get any worse?" Maybe Voldemort wasn't doing him any favors after all by sending him there instead of killing him.  
  
"Not too great, I know, but the roof doesn't leak and the beds are okay if you don't mind a few springs poking into your back. But not to worry, Malfoy, this is where us underlings stay, you, on the other hand, get the master bedroom."  
  
Draco's eyes lit up slightly at the thought. Maybe it wasn't going to be that bad after all. However, this little ray of hope was shattered as he entered his new quarters. It wasn't much different than any other part of the house. Everything was covered in dust and dirt, there was a cracked mirror and the covers on the bed looked as if they dated back to the eighteen hundreds.  
  
"Is there anything you need, Draco?" Flint said as he began to back out the door.  
  
"Yeah, tell the boys that I'll be down in fifteen minutes for a meeting."  
  
Flint nodded and shut the door to leave Draco to wallow in self-pity and disgust. Draco sat down hard on the bed and when he did it made a very audible crack and shook as if it were about to break apart. "Wonderful."  
  
Fifteen minutes later Draco entered, what appeared to be the sitting room, where he had first met the Death Eaters, and found them all lounging in the half-broken and battered chairs and couch. All of them, except for Crabbe, looked as if they hadn't changed their clothes in months and their hair and beards were sadly in need of a trim.  
  
"So, tell me, "he said as he looked down at them, "what became of your last commander?"  
  
"Don't know really." Answered Blaise. "He left in the dead of night. Haven't seen or heard of him since. It was pretty weird. He had only been here for a couple of weeks and one night he just left. Didn't leave a note and didn't even bother to take any of his things."  
  
"Hm." Muttered Draco as he furrowed his brow. He then began to walk around the couch when he suddenly tripped on a pile of unseen clothes. He managed to catch himself on the side of the couch, saving himself from a rather embarrassing fall.  
  
"Don't you guys ever clean this place?! It looks like a garbage heap!"  
  
"Well, it does have that lived in look." Said Victor as he took a cigar out of his mouth.  
  
"Besides, cleaning takes too much effort." Said Frank.  
  
"Can't you guys just use a cleaning spell or something?"  
  
"No." Frank answered.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because we don't know any." Blaise replied. "Why don't you use a cleaning spell if the place disgusts you that much?"  
  
"I don't know any either. Malfoys never have to trouble with something so lowly as cleaning." He said the last word as if it were something that tasted rather nasty. "Okay, the first thing we do is hire someone to clean this place up. I refuse to take my life in my hands every time I walk down those stairs, praying to God that I don't trip over the mounds of clothes and garbage and break my neck."  
  
The Death Eaters just shrugged. 


	3. Too Much to Drink

Chapter Three: Too Much to Drink  
  
"Aghh! I can't handle this anymore!" Draco shouted in disgust as he tripped over a pile of really dirty and ragged clothes. "Where is that damn maid?! Doesn't she know that I'm paying her to clean up this filth, not leave it on the floor?!"  
  
"She quit, Draco." Marcus said as he placed his hand of cards down and said, "Gin!"  
  
"You cheated!" Blaise said angrily.  
  
"Of course. How else do you expect I've been winning?"  
  
Blaise threw his cards down and was about to lunge at Flint when Draco  
shouted, "HOLD IT!" He then looked at Flint and said, "She quit? When?"  
  
"Mmm, a few days ago. Tuesday I think."  
  
"Tuesday?! That's the day I hired her!"  
  
"Yeah, well, she was shouting something about us being a bunch of  
impossible so-and-so's and stormed out. She even called us degenerates. As she stormed out of the house she was shouting words that I didn't know 50 year old women knew. Said not to bother paying her because it was enough to just get away from this house."  
  
Draco slumped into a chair. This was the twenty-third maid that they had gone through in two months. For some reason the housekeepers would stay for, at the most, three days and then either storm out in the middle of the day or just never return. Something had to be done. The condition of the house was unbearable and the food tasted really bad. Draco needed to find someone who wouldn't get scared off and leave them wallowing in the filth. But try as he might, the maids just wouldn't stay. He decided that he would have to pay another visit to Burksbury to try and find a housekeeper, but he was sure that by now he was running rather low on choices.  
  
The only purpose that the Brenton post served was to keep an eye on the nearby magical town of Burksbury. Burksbury was a very small town with a population of mostly old people, it was quiet and really not worth having a group of Death Eaters watching it, but it was a perfect place to keep the more undesirable Death Eaters, ones who were really not cut out for the dangerous missions and who usually botched the simplest of spells.  
  
"Yuck!" Draco said as he gingerly picked up a disgusting piece of corroded cloth and tossed it on the floor so that he could rest his elbow on the arm of the chair. First thing tomorrow morning Draco was going to head into town to find another housekeeper. Tonight he was just going to sit back, relax, and have a few drinks with the other Death Eaters.  
  
* * *  
  
"Woops, this one's all out." Frank slurred as he threw the bottle over his shoulder, smashing into a million pieces as it hit the floor. "Borgase, get some more since you're out." Victor stood with much effort to go get some more alcohol. All seven Death Eaters sat around the kitchen table playing poker and were quite wasted from the mass quantity of alcohol that they had consumed. Crabbe's head lay on the table, having been passed out for the past hour.  
  
"Alright, I'll see your fifty and raise you one hundred." Blaise said as he threw a few chips into the pile.  
  
"That does it, I'm out." Marcus said as he put his cards down. He then leaned back in his chair and gulped down another shot.  
  
"Me too." Said Draco.  
  
Frank looked thoughtful for a moment and then placed his cards down with a frustrated sigh. That only left Blaise and Goyle in the game.  
  
"I'll see your hundred and raise you another hundred." Goyle said as he pushed a few chips into the already large pile.  
  
Blaise looked nervously at Goyle. He couldn't tell if the large man were bluffing or not, course the fact that his eyes were bloodshot and blurry causing him to not see Goyle clearly, didn't help. He scratched his stubbled chin and thoughtfully looked down at his cards. He had a good hand but he wasn't sure if it was quite good enough.  
  
"Oh, go ahead and take it." He said disgustedly as he through his cards down.  
  
Goyle placed his cards face down and began to pull his winnings towards him.  
  
"What did you have?" Draco asked.  
  
"Nothing." Goyle replied with a large, dopey grin on his face.  
  
"Nothing!" Balise shouted as he grabbed the cards on the table. He picked them up and his eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw what Goyle had. "He had nothing! His cards are from all different suits and both colors!" Blaise threw the cards down angrily and lunged at Goyle. "I could have beaten that hand!" Blaise and Goyle began to have a scuffle right there on the floor. Blaise managed to get a few punches on Goyle's face, but being much smaller than his opponent, quickly found himself being the one who was getting pounded.  
  
The other Death Eaters at the table simply ignored the two on the floor and began to shuffle the cards once again. Victor had come back with another bottle and filled their shot glasses once again.  
  
An hour and a few bruises later, they were still playing poker. Crabbe had awoken from his drunken slumber and was now playing.  
  
"Am I winning or losing?" Flint said as he stared at his pile of chips with glazed over eyes.  
  
"I don't know. I just wish the table would stop moving." Blaise replied. "Draco, it's your turn."  
  
"Hhmm?" Draco said, his eyes half closed and his head resting in his hand with his elbow propped on the table.  
  
"It's your bet."  
  
"Oh, sorry. Uh, twenty. This is going to be my last hand because I have to get up tomorrow and find another housekeeper since you guys scared the last one off."  
  
"Oh, face it, Draco, you'll never be able to get someone to stay. They take one look at this place and run out of here like a bat out of hell. Call." Marcus said as he threw in his chips.  
  
"We've got to figure out how to get someone to stay. If I have to live in this place with the way that it is or eat another bowl of whatever the slop is that Goyle makes I'll have to kill myself."  
  
"Look, Draco, the only way you are going to get a girl to stay here is if you married her." Blaise said as he put his chips in the pile.  
  
"Hey, you know, that's not a bad idea." Added Frank. "She couldn't just quit and leave then."  
  
"Yeah, and we wouldn't have to pay her either." Victor commented.  
  
"Guys, there is no way that I'm going to get married just to have someone clean this place."  
  
"Why not? You're the commander and it's you who wants this place cleaned."  
  
"Yeah, but."  
  
"Here, I got an idea." Marcus said, "Let's play a game of Bull Shit and whoever loses has to be the one who gets married. The rest of the Death Eaters nodded their agreement. Draco, however said nothing.  
  
"Come on, Draco, you afraid you gonna lose?" Victor prodded.  
  
"I am not afraid." Draco snapped back.  
  
"Then play." With that Victor began to deal out the cards.  
  
Draco had a bad feeling in his gut as he began to pick his cards up. 


End file.
